I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
