Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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