You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
