the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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