glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
