Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
