the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
