If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
