If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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