: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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