Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
