We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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