I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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