I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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