I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
