He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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