I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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