then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
