Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
