Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you would pick up someone in the library
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
