why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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