have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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