is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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