until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
