I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
