Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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