he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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