i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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