I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
