i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
