morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
