Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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