If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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