I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
