she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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