sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
