Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
