Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
