Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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