i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
