when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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