I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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