This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
