no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
why didn't you poke me back
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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