My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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