I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
operation have a gay friend backfired
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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