I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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