She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
