She's JV to your varsity
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
