its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
